The Ham Snort

Today at lunch I ran home from work to grab a quick ham sandwich. As I turned around I found that I was being studied rather acutely by someone small and furry.

It was then that I heard a rather baffling sound. At first I thought that it was coming, as many odd sounds are these days, from the shoddy condominium construction going on across the street.

In fact it was not...I recommend turning your volume up a bit to get the full effect...

and thus I introduce the ham snort.

Oh Frank. His dad says that I am NOT allowed to feed him such a large slice of ham, but really when someone is so eager for a smackrel that he snorts with each inhalation, what is a pug mom to do?

A Mini Escape to the Sunshine

To say that the season is not yet improving would be a grievous understatement. Frank had not seen the sun in so very long that we decided to head up north a bit to where we heard that it was shining. Frank was very pleased to be not only invited, but to be the decisive factor as to where we stayed; we got a recommendation for a hotel that not only allows dogs, but encourages them to come along!

Frank was very pleased when he arrived to find a special set of accommodations just for him:


Yes those are treats in the bowl.
AND his very own fireplace it would seem!

(The spotted water bowl is actually ours, Frank is very peculiar about what he will drink from)

You would think that Frank would have been delighted with his cozy bed by the fire, but after a quick spin about the room he must have decided that it was a bit too lowly for him.

Oh Frank, you look a little lost.

Later that evening Frank was very dismayed to find that the edges of the tub were so high that he couldn't see where I was, and so he made quite an impressive (mainly because he didn't overshoot) leap up to the rim.

Good thing that I had set that towel there to dry off my reading hand!
Oh Frank, you are a wonder indeed! Who says a one eyed pug can't have depth perception?

The next morning, after surveying the scene from the balcony,

we went for a little walk in the woods.

Frank proved himself to be quite adventuresome, and scampered quite a ways up the trail ahead of us before panicking and bolting back down.


He is rather nimble and quick.

Oh Frank! What a delightful mini vacation.

Delight

That's right Frank! Our NEW President!!!

Yes Frank, we too are very eager.

Pizza

A moment in the thoughts of Frank:

Oh, hey... hey that looks like pizza she might be eating...mmm,cheese.

Wait, wait, maybe she doesn't see me, let me just...
...move around here.

Oh. No. Ok, let me just try...

...here we go! Yes, that's good. And I can drool on her knees...

Please note the tortured and pained look in Frank's eye. Please do not call the ASPCA. I promise he ate heartily less than an hour before this photo was taken.

Sadly Frank, the pizza is all gone.

Late that night I resumed the same position on the couch, in my reading and pizza eating corner, which apparently Frank now feels is a signal that pizza may be in the vicinity. Asleep though he had been, it didn't take long before a tired little head poked up for one last, hope filled effort.

Oh Frank...I know, it is very hard to be a pug.

The Reading Corner

To say that the weather here has not been delightful would be a gross understatement. Frank, who has been extremely saddened by the lack of walks, spends many a moment forgetting that it is raining out and crying at the door. When I open the door to show him that it is, in fact, still raining, he looks at me like I am quite possibly the biggest jerk ever... Oh Frank, if only I could control the weather.

In an effort to brighten things up and to warm the greyness of my heart, I decided that it would be excellent to have a place that was so very warm and cozy that I didn't mind the transfer out of my warm pug infused bed and out into the cold of day. A reading corner! Freshly set up to coincide with my new daily subscription to the New York Times; complete with a lamp, space heater, blanket, window, and table for my cup of coffee made from freshly purchased beans from the local coffee shop!

I was all snuggled into my corner when the phone rang After popping up to answer it I turned around to find that my warm, vacated spot had been discovered....

He is deliberately avoiding eye contact.

Oh Frank. I am so pleased that I could set up an area to make you comfortable, unfortunately you have made it so that I can neither reach my delicious cup of coffee nor can I spread my paper out on the arm of the sofa, nor can I cover up with the cozy blanket against which you are so clearly leaning.
I did eventually wedge my way back in, but not without a pug, fully covered by a blanket, in my lap - also not helpful with reading the paper.

Later that evening I tried again to visit the reading corner, but after getting up for the paper I, yet again, found a rascal in my spot. I waited for Frank to eagerly make room for me as I approached, and though this is a rather short clip, I think outcome is pretty clear.

Oh Frank.

If only you weren't so handsome.

Mark Twain Said What?

What do you mean no exclamation points?!!!

Because he is such a delightful man, last night in a fit of decidedly superior marital compromise, Frank's father agreed to escort me to a viewing of the movie "Marley and Me."
Now, to those of you who are fans of dogs, and especially to those of you who are fans of dogs AND of the memoir written by John Grogan (which I recommend as a very enjoyable, engaging, and charmingly written light read for anyone seeking a break from a more heavy line up, especially if they love dogs - though I generally, as a rule, absolutely protest to reading any book that changes its cover to read "NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE") I must highly recommend that you do NOT attend the movie. The touching and humorous writing is completely absent in the film, and it was clear to me that neither Owen Wilson nor Jennifer Aniston has ever owned or loved an animal based on both of their less than truthful, shallow emotional portrayals of the despair that that any person who has ever been close to an animal (or any actor really worth their salt for that matter) must surely have felt at the inevitable end of the movie.

That said, one specific moment from the film did stick with me: a quote from Mark Twain. It appears he felt that "one should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke."

Oh Frank. I think I can safely say that Mark Twain would NOT be a fan of your blog... it seems that in the previous one alone there were 5 exclamation points, and only 10 sentences. Hmm....

Well, that's what happens when your are writing about the adventures of someone who basically lives life as if it IS an exclamation point; for example, when was the last time that anyone reading this blog looked at anything with this much hope and anticipation:

and that, after all, is just a former bowl of tuna fish!

... and what's wrong with laughing at your own jokes anyhow? At least that way you know that someone enjoys your company!

Where have you been?

You may be wondering to yourself "wherever has Frank been this last week of 2008"? Well I am sad to say that he has been holed up with his rather sick mother upon her return from Nebraska. However, fear not! It turns out that Frank made out like a bandit on the Christmas front,

and therefore has not been at all dismayed or without anything to do.
Oh Frank! So many delightful new toys to chew and squeak!

I am sad to say that he does appear to have a rather bored expression on his face. This is not actually due to the delightful new toys, but rather to the fact that he is watching a piece of cheese in my hand as I take the picture. Oh Frank, there is indeed not much that you wouldn't do for a nice piece of cheese!

Rest assured that as we recuperate Frank will be up and about with some new adventures for the new year!